Why do so many people talk about changing their lives but do absolutely nothing about it? They talk about how stressed they are, they talk about how messed up their lives are, how they wish they could leave their job for something better, how they wish they could leave their abusive relationships. And yet at the end of the day, they do absolutely NOTHING. In fact they feel more upset and angry with themselves for being unable to take the first steps towards the life of their choosing and the life of their dreams. Could it be that they want to change the way they relate in the world without addressing the underlying reasons or causes for their behaviour? Is it possible then, that that could be the real issue that needs to change? Behaviour after all is symptomatic of a belief or emotion. It doesn’t exist in isolation.
Quite simply, you see the bright blue sky on yonder and know in your heart of hearts what you need to do to get there. But the thing that stops you is PAIN. The pain of trying and then failing. The pain of trying and then losing. Think about it. You’ve been in that abusive relationship for years, and you want better things for yourself. But in your heart of hearts you know that leaving might eventually cause you the pain of not having anyone in your life after this. What if you don’t get anyone? What if you have to live alone for the rest of your life? If that isn’t pain I don’t know what is.
Pain may not always be debilitating. In fact, pain sometimes can be your most powerful motivator. It happens when you decide that enough is enough. You are no longer going to take any more abuse. It’s that magical moment when you wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and realise that this can go on no longer and action starts NOW. Many people have been driven to overcome incredibly trying circumstances only because they reached that level of pain, where they realised that there was no other option but to change. Did you ever have that moment when you realised that you didn’t want to be the only one in your group of friends who couldn’t fit into that pretty dress or have a boy ask you out because you were really that fat. Wasn’t that the key moment in your life when you decided enough was enough?
More coming up in the next posts, stay tuned!