Category Archives: Healing Yourself

Healing Yourself is the first and basic step towards transforming your life. Take the time to care for yourself , mend yourself and make yourself the best possible person that you were meant to be

TOP 5 Secrets to Awesome Living

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You're AwesomeHaving an awesome life isn’t something that just happens as we’re strolling along one fine day. Creating the life of your dreams involves setting smart goals and utilizing your available resources in the best possible to way to achieve success.

The main player in achieving an awesome life is YOU. Yes YOU! It’s what YOU put into it, that defines and shapes the way your life pans out from moment to moment.

So, here are my TOP 5 TIPS to achieving an awesome life:

1. Get Going!:
The very first step in achieving awesomeness is simply to just get going. Simply thinking about your dreams, and planning about your dreams will get you nowhere until you actively start putting in the WORK to achieve them. So take that first step which you’ve been putting off forever. And just go for it!

2. Eliminate distractions and obstructions:
Get rid of things that no longer serve you whether it’s a depressing work situation, friends that constantly drag you down, endless clutter in the house and on your mailbox, and everything else that just seems squash, cloud and negate your desire to achieve your best life.

Keep more of the things in your life that motivate and inspire you to greatness. Surround yourself with positivity, happiness and love;and more of the things that make you want to achieve your personal greatness. You’re only as good as what you surround yourself with.

3. Focus on the Essentials:
Prioritise! Don’t waste time on things that aren’t on the agenda to Awesome living. Focus, focus, focus. With single point concentration, train yourself to focus on those things and ONLY those things that lead you closer to your personal vision of an AWESOME life.

5. Control your thoughts:
Always think in terms of success and achievement. And if you slip even for the briefest of moments, give yourself the joy and pleasure of refocusing your thoughts on your vision of your best life. Persist in being confident, self-assured and motivated. Never let others pull you down and brush of the naysayers. Always keep your ultimate goal in mind and in the frame. Of course you can do it!

6. Don’t just be good, be Excellent:

Mediocrity should never be in the dictionary of awesome living.

Focus on being the best because, really, of course you are! Why settle for anything less than a truly awesome life. Being successful is not just about plain luck, because luck doesn’t last for ever. Success is all about being persistent, working hard, and putting in the effort to get where you need to go. Don’t just be good, strive to be excellent.

Awesome living doesn’t happen to anyone overnight, but by applying these tips always and consistently, you will put yourself firmly in the path of your personal greatness!

 

Do your beliefs help or hinder you?

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Today we’re going to explore a little bit about something that is a very important part of our lives – Beliefs. Yup that’s right! Beliefs.

Our beliefs are the fundamental tools of our thinking process which when changed and modified appropriately help us to change our life patterns substantially. Have you ever thought to think about where our beliefs come from? Do we get them from our parents, our peers, our cultural/ religious or social values , perhaps they are self created, maybe all of these things,maybe none of them at all.

What’s important to realize is that the things that we hold on to as beliefs can either hold us back in life or propel us forward towards better things. For example, have you ever been raised with the belief that money is no good or that money is the root of all evil. Or maybe that rich people are not honest… Think about it…if you look at this belief, it is essentially stopping you from being more abundant financially than where you are now. Because neither do you want to be evil nor do you want to be bad.And you definitely don’t want to be a dishonest induvidual. Because you associate money with all of these things, you subconsciously block the flow of financial wealth into your life.

What if you were to look at this in a different way. Supposing you decide that maybe you would rather believe that money is easily and effortlessly available. Or that good people invite more abundance into their lives. Would you then experience a shift in perspective and therefore your outer reality?

So today I’d like to suggest that you take some time to think over some of the main beliefs that you have in your life and whether they are holding you back in life or propelling your forward to better things. Then consider, how you can reframe your beliefs to more positively impact your life! It is after all your beliefs that shape your world.

Achieving your goals for 2014

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Work on setting and achieving SMART goals.

Work on setting and achieving SMART goals.

Coming into the new year…it’s important to really focus on goals that didn’t materialise over the year gone by and understand what steps you can take to bring them into fruition over the next 11 months. It can even be a simple goal that you’d like to newly set for your personal progress in 2014. Goals should be SMART – i.e Specific, Measurable, Achievable,Relevant, and Time bound; and broken into baby steps to give you shorter achievable targets.

For example, as opposed to just thinking ” I need to lose weight,” think in terms of “I need to lose 2 kilos before February,” which is both specific, measurable and a more realistic target. Setting a goal of say 10 kilos by the end of the month is going way beyond what is a healthy or an achievable target which in turn sets you easily up for disappointment.

Also think about what things you can do to creatively to achieve your goals and work towards incorporating them into your life. For example, “How can I change my diet to achieve this goal and what type and how much physical activity should I incorporate to get my target weight loss?”. Closely examine your plans to see if tweaks need to be made to better prepare you for success. For instance, to achieve a goal of weight loss, I definitely need to take out or moderate processed foods, sugar,red meat, alcohol and oily foods; control my portions and achieve atleast a minimum of an 1 hours’ worth of exercise daily or atleast 5 days a week. I also need to drink atleast a minimum of 2-3 litres of water daily to assist fat loss as well as the natural detoxification process.

As you start to get comfortable in the path of steady progress it’s important to take stock of and modify your goals as needed. For instance, let’s say you’ve hit a weight loss plateau. Consider if you need to increase your level of exercise or honestly review your diet to see if there’s anything getting in the way of success. Remember, goals should also be realistic. So aim to be at a healthy body weight as opposed to being size zero for instance when your body in it’s most natural and healthy state is anything but.

It’s important to not berate yourself or put yourself down if you find yourself slipping on occasion. Pick yourself back up and get right back on track. Momentary lapses should never hold you back from achieving your larger goal. Like everything thing else in life, goals are easily achievable as long as you persist , stay focussed and work at it consistently.Good luck and do let me know how you’re getting on 🙂

Meet Pain and Pleasure, Your Biggest Motivators Part I/II

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Meet Pain Your Biggest Motivator. Image credit online.wsj.com

Meet Pain Your Biggest Motivator.
Image credit online.wsj.com

Every action that you take in your life is governed by two words that begin with the letter P – Pain and Pleasure. Understanding the two Ps and how they work in your life is a key step to figuring out why you do the things that you do, and what you need to change to truly live the life of your dreams.

Why do so many people talk about changing their lives but do absolutely nothing about it? They talk about how stressed they are, they talk about how messed up their lives are, how they wish they could leave their job for something better, how they wish they could leave their abusive relationships. And yet at the end of the day, they do absolutely NOTHING. In fact they feel more upset and angry with themselves for being unable to take the first steps towards the life of their choosing and the life of their dreams. Could it be that they want to change the way they relate in the world without addressing the underlying reasons or causes for their behaviour? Is it possible then, that that could be the real issue that needs to change? Behaviour after all is symptomatic of a belief or emotion. It doesn’t exist in isolation.

Quite simply, you see the bright blue sky on yonder and know in your heart of hearts what you need to do to get there. But the thing that stops you is PAIN. The pain of trying and then failing. The pain of trying and then losing. Think about it. You’ve been in that abusive relationship for years, and you want better things for yourself. But in your heart of hearts you know that leaving might eventually cause you the pain of not having anyone in your life after this. What if you don’t get anyone? What if you have to live alone for the rest of your life? If that isn’t pain I don’t know what is.

Pain may not always be debilitating. In fact, pain sometimes can be your most powerful motivator. It happens when you decide that enough is enough. You are no longer going to take any more abuse. It’s that magical moment when you wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and realise that this can go on no longer and action starts NOW. Many people have been driven to overcome incredibly trying circumstances only because they reached that level of pain, where they realised that there was no other option but to change. Did you ever have that moment when you realised that you didn’t want to be the only one in your group of friends who couldn’t fit into that pretty dress or have a boy ask you out because you were really that fat. Wasn’t that the key moment in your life when you decided enough was enough?

More coming up in the next posts, stay tuned!

Healing the Family Tree

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Healing The Family Tree. Image credit 67notout.com

Healing The Family Tree.
Image credit 67notout.com

You’d be surprised at the things you inherit from your ancestors. You don’t just share their physical characteristics. You share their emotions, their drive, their intellect, their passions and yes, their illnesses too. Genetics is powerful. Which is why it’s so important to understand and acknowledge the role of your ancestors in your physical, mental and emotional existence. In the words of the ancients, we are the sum and parts of all who have gone before, the ones who surround us now, and the ones who are yet to be born. Our souls are linked from across time and space in very real and palpable ways.

It’s important to really look at our family structure dispassionately and objectively to see for ourselves whether we can trace the origins or roots of our difficulties to our family tree.  Closely examine the male and female ancestral lines in your family. Do you see a pattern in your disharmony?

Our beliefs and emotions are ingrained in us from our childhood as a result of the interactions with our family and significant others, and our own direct experiences. Our parents in turn, are the products of the feelings and emotions of their parents and significant others, as well as their own direct experiences. These emotions and feelings get passed down through the family line from one generation to the next along with the physical makeup and structures unique to the induvidual lineage.

If your great-grandfather suffered greatly during a time of great war and persecution, you may have inturn inherited the several inexplicable fears and anxieties with which you’ve been struggling your entire life to resolve. Perhaps your family history is littered with accounts of sudden traumatic deaths , miscarriages, or various types of addictions, as a result of which you indirectly struggle with issues of fear, guilt , infertility and disease.

If your family history is fractured with negativity, it does not mean that it is irreparable damage and that all is lost! There are ways and means of healing yourself and moving forward with your life. All that is required from your side is a willingness to make peace with the past. Whilst a skilled healer can help you uncover the roots of discordancy in your life,  it is still OK if you do not have access to one. Each one of us is capable of healing ourselves, and doing a darn good job of it :-).Patience and persistence is the key. There are many ways to release yourself from the inherited pains of your ancestors , and a very simple way to do this is by honouring your ancestors and allowing them , quite simply, to heal you.

Altar for the Ancestors

Altar for the Ancestors, image credit kiwimojo.com

Create an altar with pictures of your ancestors or atleast visual representations of them( if you have no pictures or prefer not to use them). Line the altar additionally with spiritual objects that bring you happiness and peace. Light candles, burn incense and feel the air of the room start to clear. Once you’ve done this, genuinely reach out to all your ancestors. Appreciate and honour their beautiful and continued presence in your life. Thank them for sharing their thoughts and feelings with you. Ask that they heal and take away all the illnesses and pain that do not belong to you so that you may be free to live your life with peace. And finally thank them for their release and seek their blessings.

This ceremony looks rudimentary on the outside but don’t allow it’s simplicity to dissuade you from it’s efficacy and power. If performed with a true heart and pure intentions, honouring and acknowledging your ancestors and having them heal you can change your entire life for the better.

When our past is a fundamental aspect of the reason for our existence , it makes sense to make peace with it, if only to make a better present for ourselves and an even happier future for our children.

Namaste.

© Irene Lopez  and An Urban Mystic’s Blog, 2013

Feelings ,Your Guidepost To Wholeness And Wellbeing

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Our feelings are a very important part of who we are. They serve us in the same fashion as an internal barometer or guidepost to what makes us feel good and what does not. In understanding and acknowledging our feelings, we are better able to make informed decisions on the things that drive us , motivate us and make us who we really are.

Think backwards to a time when you last felt nervous. Do you remember the knots in your stomach and how your heartbeat started to increase just by finding yourself thinking about the situation that made you nervous. How about when you first saw someone and understood the sensation of “love at first sight”. There was that incredible endorphin rush , the feel good feeling in your stomach and the immense joy and happiness you felt in your heart. Was there ever a time you felt upset about something. Do you remember how that felt?

Our feelings in all of these situations are showing us and bringing us to an awareness of what makes us comfortable and what does not. Our body, in it’s infinite intelligence and wisdom, brings theses emotions to the surface in an effort to make us understand and address them . It is our body’s desire to keep us in a consistent state of balance and it can only do so by drawing our attention to imbalances in the best ways it can.  But symptomatic as it is of modern day living, many of us choose to suppress these feelings and emotions especially those which are considered negative in nature, like anger and jealousy for example, and in doing so, cause great distress to ourselves in the long term.

For instance, let’s just say someone said something to you today that made you feel really bad. You really felt the pain of sadness and rejection , especially since that someone was a really close friend. But like most people you start to rationalise. You think, I don’t care what she said. You think, So what?. You think, It doesn’t bother me what she says, I know who I am.  You try to bury your feelings. You don’t share how bad you felt with anyone you know because you don’t want anyone to know how weak you are, or maybe you just don’t want anyone else to worry about you. But by doing this, the pain does not go away. You simply internalise it. When you internalise it, you don’t express the hurt feelings. When you don’t express the hurt feelings, that little sensation registers in your body and creates a disruption in your field of energy. Once this little disruption is created, its creates a block in the way you perceive things. You will no longer feel the sensation of being completely safe, secure and loved in the world untill you deal with this little block you choose to deny.

The most important thing to remember to always maintain ourselves in the state of  grace is to express our feelings. If you feel sad, cry. If you feel angry , express your anger and find healthy ways to do so. You can shout your head off in the privacy of your room or you can punch your pillow. Have close friends that you can talk to and express your feelings to. Not only will you feel lighter because the feelings are being cleared, but also you will become more centred and aware. Listening to the perspectives shared by your friends also provides a fresh angle on any event and puts things in better light. If you’re not the talking kind, take part in physical activity. Yoga is particularly beneficial for bringing yourself back to balance. Buried emotions never really die. If you do not make the effort to express your feelings, you will go through life on automatic mode, never really experiencing or learning from the full range of emotions that we as humans are here to experience.

Explore and understand physical manifestations of discomfort. A lot of times you may not even be sure of what you feel. If this is the case, look to your body for guidance. Do you feel that tension in your chest. Close your eyes, and bring your awareness and attention to the area of tension. Breathe in and out deeply whilst you focus on it. Ask the area what is the source of this pain. When you do this you may get an image in your head or maybe a sound or a memory that resurfaces in your mind’s eye which points you in the direction of it’s origin. Whenever we do not feel good about something, this is our body’s way of signalling to us that something is wrong and we need to address it. So, pay more attention to your feelings. Something as simple as just being aware and paying attention to how you feel is  all it takes to dissipate the negativity.

Men have feelings too. And they run just as deep. It’s just that men have been socially conditioned not to show signs of weakness. They are taught mostly to always look strong and masculine. But this does not mean that they cannot explore their feelings. You just need to find ways , moments or places where you can review your feelings and feel safe to do so. Man or woman, we all want the same things.

Listen to Your Feelings. If something does not feel right, and does not seem like the right path for you, follow your instincts.  When you ignore your feelings consistently , over a period of time you start to lose track of your inner compass and you go through life mindlessly based on what you should or must do as opposed to what you really want to do.

Do more of the things that make you feel good. Just like feelings of discomfort guide us to what is wrong with our lives, feelings of joy guide is to what is right with our lives and what gladdens our hearts. Do more of the things that make you happy. Do more of the things that feel right. Spend more time with the people that make you feel good. The more you focus on happiness and positivity , the more will such feelings expand, and the more you can continue to expect more of the good things in your life. The Universe says what you feel you will attract. If that’s the case, would you not try to find your bliss today.

 

Finding Your Joy

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Do you drag yourself out of bed every morning to do yet another marathon of endless mindless, repetitive things that have become so routine, you find yourself stealing moments where you dream of far away lands or vastly better things.Is that all there is to it, you wonder. The truth is, life can be a joyous, fantastic and utterly incredible experience in every moment of your life.

And how is that possible, you ask? Read on, this blog is for you.

Lesson Nbr 1 : Find Your Passion 

We were all are brought into this world with a purpose in mind. When we know and identify this purpose, and align our lives to the achievement of this purpose, it is then that we really start to achieve satisfaction in our lives. What is that you like to do, or have always liked to do. Think about it. What makes you smile , what delights your heart, what makes you feel the happiest in the world. Do you like bringing a smile to other people’s faces ; you are a Joy-Maker!  Do you delight in caring for other souls and helping them through trying situations and struggles ; you are a Kind Humanitarian Soul. Do you love dressing up, wearing beautiful clothes and bringing your  talents into the spotlight; you are a STAR! Maybe you love the sensation of trying out recipes and putting together new and exciting food combinations; you are a Masterchef in the making! Whatever it is you are passionate about,identify, acknowledge and accept that now.

Lesson Nbr 2 : Live Your Passion

Once you’ve identified your passion, find ways to bring this passion of yours to life. Whether you are a single or married with children, you have the potential to reach the highest level in the aspects of life which are important to you. So make the time to plan and live out your dreams now.  If you’ve always wanted to run your own restaurant, start working out your budgets, talk to other people who’ve done it, try out recipes, map interior design in your head, look at tableware. Action is what brings your dreams to life and makes your life the best possible it can be. So make that move and start working on your passion right now.

Lesson Nbr 3 : Rediscover the Child In You

Life was always fun when we were children, we played often , made friends easily and collectively disowned the adult world with glee.  An acquaintance of mine once told me “At heart, we are ALL children, we just look like adults”.

There’s a child buried deep inside you, longing to come out and experience the freedom of joy and happiness. Let him or her out. Take the time to laugh, be silly and absurd. Find, make, and maintain friendships with good people, the kind who you can call at 03:00 am in the morning. When we have caring and supportive friends with whom we can be ourselves, we are able to find a space where we become more safe and secure in ourselves. Do the things that are new and different from your routine and what you are normally used to. If you’ve always taken one route to go work, try an alternative route. Children are spontaneous and flexible. Work on bringing more of these qualities into your life to create a state of positivity and expectancy. And try things that scare you. If you’ve been thinking about bunjee-jumping, but have always been a little fearful of it, why not do it now. Spend more time with happy people, children and small animals, and rediscover the little things in life that made you happy as a child.

Lesson Nbr 4: Change the Way You Look at Life

Examine your thoughts from day to day, and moment to moment. Are they joyous, filled with positivity and brimming with expectation. Or are they negative, whiny, and self-pitying. The way you look at life is reflected in the surroundings you find yourself in. The more happy, joyous and sunny you are, the more situations you will attract into your life that reflect the way you think and feel about yourself. Happiness is a choice , not something that happens to us. We choose to be happy. Every time you find yourself thinking a negative thought, replace it quickly with a positive one, until it becomes a habit and a way of life. It is a simple but basic Law of the Universe. “Like Attracts Like”. Radiate Love, and you will attract more of it. Radiate Joy, and you will attract more of the same into your life.

Lesson Nbr 5 : Be Good To Yourself

You are an incredible being of light and beauty. If you only knew how truly beautiful you are in the eyes of the One Who Made You, you would never look at yourself or your life the same way again. You may think you fall short in so many ways, you may think that your life could be that much better, and you may think that you are so far behind from being the best you can be. But be kind to yourself. You have done the best you could do within the knowledge and awareness that you had. It is never too late to change your path and put yourself on the road to personal greatness. You are bigger than all the foibles and failures that have gone before. Start to make the small changes in your life and slowly, but surely, even you can achieve the life that you’ve always dreamed of.

May God Bless You With Infinite Light and Happiness!